What I’m Blogging

It’s Alive!

Just when you thought they weren’t going to renew the contract, just when you got used to the idea of moving on; the worm turns.

At last we looked, the renewal was for a year an the same hours at the same rate. Now we are doing a 2 month extension for the money I was originally looking for. It’s a bridge until they find the “full-time” slave employee they want. So it’s back to building little frankenstien monsters of video broadcast technology… for a little while at least.

After the Install

Wisdom tells us that no matter what, the install expands to absorb all available time alloted for it, and then some. It is also a known fact that no plan survives contact with the enemy and no matter how much you prepare something will always rear up to throw a spanner into the gears. The network got moved. It more or less works the same way it previously did. Best of all, there’s a dark light in a pint glass at the end of the tunnel…

It’s time again for one of those treasured moments in Information Technology. Time to burn the midnight oil; to go long; to to make fire; to do the voodoo we do. In other words, it is time to rip the guts out of the network, and then reassemble it into a mirror of itself in a new location. Oh and please do it in the dead of night while everyone else sleeps, and ensure that there is 100% availability when you are done, and, by the way, try to have it done in a couple of hours, because lord knows, western civilization depends on it.

Network and System guys are like the shoemaker’s elves, or Army recruiting comercials. We do more things before 6:00 AM then most people do all day…

So while you are all comfy and warm under the covers tonight, remember those of us making the lights on the RJ45 ports turn green and the machine that goes “ping” do it’s thing. We few, we unhappy sleepy few…

It’s not just a good song by the Clash, but an important question at this time of contract renewal. Recap: I ditched the madness that was Gigantic Concrete and signed up for a six month gig at Channel 9 TV doing the networking voodoo that I do. At the time I was just glad to see the tail end of the cement mixers and had high hopes for a better life, more time at home, less commuting, less work pressure, etc. I was hoping for less of all the things that are part and parcel of the IT world, and routinely demanded by employers.

…come on and let me know…

So we are in the process of talking about the contract. They want a 12 month term with option to hire full time at the end, no increase in compensation, 5 days a week of commuting to the office and little demonstrated flexibility in time at the desk requirements. I am not interested in full time, and committing to a year right now doesn’t seem like a good deal. The contracting market is good, the commute is a pain, and quite frankly I may just be completely unsuited to steady employment at the same place for a period of time longer than 12 months. Sigh….

Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know…

Well happy days are here again… Twenty days into working for Silver Lining I’ve managed to land a big six month contract at Number 9 TV. They needed a net centric propeller head, coincidentally I am such a beast in need of revenue. It’s a match made in heaven, or at least the heaven occupied by accountants.

…apparently I fit the bill of fair…

Number 9 TV has a need to expand an already huge data network used for transferring binary large objects composed of video around the globe. They need to do it even more so as a result of having to cover a certain repetitive, four year cycled, frenzy of precious medal distribution as a reward for athletic prowess. Am I being vague enough?

Seems they want a technical guy with an “artsy” head. One who won’t drone on about bits and bytes all day and apparently I fit the bill of fair. I suppose the clincher was in the pop psychology questions during the interview.

“So Mr. Knight, which do you choose, Coke or Pepsi?”

“Neither”

“excuse me?”

“They’re both dark, but neither of them is a Guinness”

“Point taken - good answer.”

So like Captain Kirk, I succeed at this HR inspired Kobayashi Maru and secured victory. Now where are the green Orion Slave Girls at?

Well it only took about two business days since my last day with Gigantic Concrete, but I’m back in the saddle again. I am working with a new company, let’s call them Silver Lining, and it’s my job to develop their professional services/contracting arm.

…right now it’s fun…

The possibility of this job has been just over the horizon for the last year or so. Nothing ever came of it though because I felt I needed a full time paid gig etc. etc. Well now that I’ve taken the leap of faith and cut the corporate ties, possibilities presented themselves, and I decided to dive in.

Unlike my previous positions, this one is based solely on the work I do. There is no salary, there is just “revenue”. Best of all, I have been given pretty much free reign to make or break it on my own. I work from home or a client site, I pretty much dictate my own hours, and the major decisions are mine to make.

On the flip side, if things screw up, it’s completely my fault, and lack of revenue will mean things might get very tight. There now that I’ve gotten that pessimism out of my system, it’s on to brighter things.

This may be good, this may be bad, but right now it’s fun.

In the corporate world, paranoia runs deep. My last day is Friday, and without notice or apparent reason, my access has been completely taken away.

…paranoia runs deep…

I tried to find out what was going on and my boss told me to “just stay home”. I tried to tie up some loose ends, but I discovered that every time I sent an email, my boss would have the address blocked at the firewall. Next thing you know, he’ll be rolling three metal balls in his hand and will be demanding to know where his strawberries are.

Another good reason to no longer be there.

These are the times that try men`s souls. Women’s souls too if in similar circumstances, regardless of any medieval notions to the contrary. I`ve been at the office for the past week waiting for the pain to end. Unfortunately, the end is taking its own sweet time about it. The doctors of spin however, are in full force.

In the past nine days since my resignation, I have heard the following at Gigantic Concrete;

• “I was going to have to fire him anyway for poor performance”
• “What do you mean you have no job to go to?”
• “Do you want to take some time off to reconsider?”
• “We really can’t afford to loose you”
• “You should be more professional. Resigning without going somewhere else isn’t”
• “Your resignation is creating poor morale in the department”
• “What will it take to make you stay?”

Why is it so unbelievable that I just can’t work for these guys anymore? If they didn’t like the job I was doing, they’d fire me. I don’t like the job they are providing so I’m firing them. I don’t see the problem.

Three days to go… I can’t wait.

Providence, and the Byrds, tell us that there is a season to all things and a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to work for Gigantic Concrete, and time not to work for Gigantic Concrete. It is time.

…My future may be uncertain, but it will certainly be my own…

I’m kidding myself if I think it’s going to get any better. I would be delusional to believe that with just a little more time, the vast bureaucratic, and insidious culture that is the Byzantine warren of unrealistic expectations, will change to be a more humane working environment. A land of milk and honey, promised by the lord of capital, to the desert weary tribes of burned out IT workers. Somehow, I think our Moses didn’t get the memo.

Perhaps it’s time for the principle of eigenzeit - proper time, to apply to how I move forward with life. I have been existing for the last half decade in the bubble of the universe of lost time. I’ve been beholden to the time of others; a schedule not of my making and choosing; a collar that is starting to choke. If I continue I fear that I will loose myself and all I hold dear. If I choose to stop the madness, then perhaps in my own time, my proper time, I will learn to be happy, and discover meaning again.

It may not be the smartest financial move I’ve ever made - and on that score I’ve made many blunders. I generally have something else lined up to do before I leave a place. This time I just need to leave. My future may be uncertain, but it will certainly be my own.

Hi. My name is Ric, and I’m a present-a-holic. I suffer from a dreaded disease known as presenteeism - the feeling that one must show up for work even if one is too sick, stressed, or distracted to be productive; the feeling that one needs to work extra hours even if one has no extra work to do. I remember back in the late 80’s when we used to be called workaholics, but I suppose there are subtle distinctions that I don’t grasp. In any event I have a monkey on my back that is guilting me into returning to the office tomorrow.

…break this cycle of dependency that I’ve developed with the modern corporation…

Guilt runs deep in my psyche, a gift I suppose from a dormant Catholicism that sleeps like a volcano ready to pop. I don’t want to go back to work. I feel like crap. I want to stay home, heck I want to find something else to do entirely. My big problem is that I need to go back to work; like a wino needs a bottle, like a junkie needs a hit. I get nervous and anxious at the thought not being there and doing my part. People are depending on me, or so my ego tells me. I need a hit - the dim glow of florescent lighting, the cramped cubicals, the stress, the politics.

What I really need is a local chapter of Present-a-holic’s Anonymous, so that I can break this cycle of dependency that I’ve developed with the modern corporation. Won’t you give?

Monday Monday, so good to me, Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be.

…basking in the glow of the laptop screen…

Well it’s Easter Monday and I’m working from home. I’ve got some errands to run, appointments to keep, so I’m exercising a management prerogative to sit in my PJs for the majority of the morning, basking in the glow of the laptop screen. It makes me wish all days could start like this. It’s more civilized.

I know however, that it is only an illusion. When I get back to the office tomorrow there will be a crap storm of things to take care of. But today, I’m going to sit in the eye of that storm and enjoy the peace over a nice cup of home brewed coffee.

No new hat, no new clothes, and that darn rabbit hasn’t shown up with my chocolate fix yet. It’s the midpoint of the Easter Holiday and it just doesn’t feel right. We were supposed to go visit the in-laws yesterday, but I’m on call and apparently even on Good Friday the rock must flow. So trip, free booze and diner cancelled. Cell phone and computers engaged, full speed ahead.

…It’s a freaking holiday for god’s sake…

Can we all get with the program? It’s a freaking holiday for god’s sake [pun intended]! Not that I’m particularly religious, but if, in the opinion of some, the divine being chooses to make itself manifest on earth, and then get tacked up on a cross for our eternal benefit, the least we can do in return is take the day off from work.

Apparently capitalism forgot to read the memo. So the beeping at mass tomorrow, if I go, will be me… Apologies in advance.