What I’m Blogging

Her Own Pirate Ship

Arrrgh, Avast there ye scurvy blog readers, prepare to be boarded! It’s easy these days to come up with a birthday gift that kids will like; Playstation, DVDs, MP3 players etc. It’s a little harder to come up with a present that will knock their socks off and inspire imaginative play. This year we built the girl’s room into her own pirate ship. Complete with Johnny Depp posters.

Today is Easter Sunday in the Christian Church, the holiday that celebrates Jesus’ resurrection from the dead. Easter is one of the few floating holidays in the calendar year, because it’s based on the cycles of the moon. Jesus was said to have risen from the dead on the first Sunday after the first full moon of spring. For that reason, Easter can fall as early as March 22nd and as late as April 25th.

…Easter comes from an ancient pagan goddess…

The word “Easter” comes from an ancient pagan goddess worshipped by Anglo Saxons named Eostre. According to legend, Eostre once saved a bird whose wings had frozen during the winter by turning it into a rabbit. Because the rabbit had once been a bird, it could still lay eggs, and that rabbit became our Easter Bunny. Eggs were a symbol of fertility in part because they used to be so scarce during the winter. There are records of people giving each other decorated eggs at Easter as far back as the 11th century.

On this day in 1917, the United States formally declared war against Germany and entered World War I. American participation in the World War permanently transformed the nation. In order to meet increased demands for goods, the federal government expanded dramatically, taking an unprecedented role in guiding the economy. Women got involved in the war effort and impressed enough of the men they worked with that they won support for voting rights shortly after the war. The war also shortened women’s skirts, since it created a scarcity of wool. And it probably started the widespread American addiction to cigarettes, since American soldiers got to buy cigarettes at much cheaper prices while serving abroad.

…was just the beginning of the United States’ policy of military intervention in world affairs…

At the time, the war had been going on in Europe for three years, but there was no real immediate threat to the United States. Up until then, Woodrow Wilson had been opposed to the war. His campaign for president in 1916 included the slogan, “He kept us out of the war,” though Wilson never used that phrase himself.

But two things changed Wilson’s mind. The first was that Germany had declared unrestricted warfare on American merchant vessels, and began torpedoing any ship they thought was carrying munitions to the British and the French. At that point, the United States was the biggest supplier of munitions to the British and the French. And the second was that the United States intercepted a telegram from Germany to Mexico, asking for an alliance against the United States. If Mexico was willing to attack the U.S., the Germans said they would help Mexico regain Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona.

So President Wilson asked Congress for a declaration of war on April 2. The declaration passed almost unanimously, and war was officially declared on this day in 1917. One of the few people who spoke out against it was the pacifist Senator from Wisconsin, Robert La Follette.

About 3 million American men were inducted into the military. And though they fought for only a short time, it was enough to make a difference. Between the financial support, supplies, and reinforcements, the American entry into the war was the turning point that helped bring it to an end.

The war was extraordinarily expensive for the United States, costing about $1 million per hour in the last 25 months of the war. The amount of money the U.S. government spent on World War I was more than the combined total of what it had spent in the previous 100 years. Woodrow Wilson hoped it would be the war to end all wars, but instead it was just the beginning of the United States’ policy of military intervention in world affairs.

Canada Office Geese

Like the swallows to San Juan Capistrano, or the hot dog vendors to the corner of Yonge & Bloor streets in downtown Toronto, nothing says spring more than the return of the Canada geese to the television station. It won’t be long until there is nesting and the pitter patter of tiny waddlers all around the parking lot.

On the downside, there is a lot of shoe cleaning to do.

What a way to spoil a good buffet lunch. “You will soon have a different job”. How vauge can a tiny piece of paper, with several lucky numbers, be? Is it a new job to add to the existing jobs I already have? If so, my wife and her soon to be hired divorce lawyer, would like to know. Is it a completely new gig without the old ones tagging along? Will it be better or worse that the ones I have now? Is this a fortune or a curse?

…You will soon have a different job…

This small slip of former tree with writing on it is causing me some anxiety. I’ve had new jobs, and pretty much, nine times out of ten, they are the same old job merely with different character names and locations, but the plot remains the same. Sort of like cheap romance novels.

One would think that any product that caused this much grief and uncertainty would have to be regulated by the government, or at least carry a warning label. But to be fair, fortune cookie words are to the brain what Chinese food is to the stomach; thirty minutes afterwards it’s gone, and you are hungry again.

I spent a year at work this March. Sure it wasn’t a linear temporal year, but somewhere in the vast universe of reality and the rest, I aged at twelve times the rate of normal. The “Bug Hunt” from the 4^Th was the catalyst for this cycle of aging, how the company and I reacted was the cause of my disappearance from the face of the earth. Objects moving faster than time do not appear in the visual spectrum, nor can they be heard. In a time warp, no one can hear you scream.

PCs were scanned; networks secured; nasty bugs terminated with extreme prejudice. It’s nice and pristine now, at least until the clever north wind blows in the next disgruntled hacker bent on mayhem.

Presently, it appears that time and I are back in sync, but technology and work stand ever ready to tear a rip in time again. The question this time is how will I react to it?

Today is April Fools’ Day, a holiday celebrating practical jokes of all kinds. The British collection of folk wisdom known as Poor Robin’s Almanac (1662) says: “The first of April, some do say, Is set apart for All Fools’ Day.”

…Looking foolish does the spirit good…

One theory about the origin of April Fools’ Day is that it started in France in 1582. Up until then, New Year’s Day was celebrated on April 1st, but when Europe adopted the Gregorian calendar, New Year’s Day was moved to January 1st. At the time, news of such things traveled slowly, and it took many years for everyone to get up to speed. People who continued to celebrate New Years on April 1st came to be known as April Fools.

John Updike said, “Looking foolish does the spirit good.”

Poem: “The Art of Disappearing” by Naomi Shihab Nye from Words Under the Words: Selected Poems. © The Eighth Mountain Press.

The Art of Disappearing

When they say Don’t I know you?
say no.

When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It’s not that you don’t love them anymore.
You’re trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven’t seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don’t start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.