What I’m Blogging

At the behest of Gigantic Concrete, I was again on the road today. This time it was off to jolly old London. London in the bush that is, not to be confused with the stomping grounds of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family who have been going under the alias “Windsor” for the better part of the last century due to some PR issues about being German… but I digress.

…Good thing I’m putting that University degree in philosophy to good use….

I spent the better part of the day driving through farm country to another large gravel pit on the fringe of the corporate empire, to spend a grand total of 45 minutes fixing a router, and installing a printer. Good thing I’m putting that University degree in philosophy to good use. Job done, back on the road home, but first, a small stop to get some lunch and a chance meeting with death. Well almost.

The burger was good and juicy. It was served at one of those restaurants that truckers like to stop at. When I’m on the road I eat where the trucks are parked. They know good food when they see it. So, I’m eating my yummy,delectable burger, and for some reason, while chewing, I get the urge to cough, and then inhale, ensuring that the piece of burger I’m chewing is now lodged (rather securely) in my wind pipe.

Had this been a Terry Pratchett novel, I would have expected DEATH on his mighty steed “Binky”. If DEATH was busy perhaps Death of Rats would make an appearance. It’s funny what passes through your mind as the O² levels start to decrease. I was choking. I was not breathing. I was surprisingly calm considering lack of air is a key cause of mortality in earthly carbon based life forms. Surprisingly calm, considering no one else in the joint did anything to help me. I mean truckers take their food pretty seriously. OK, the waitress did ask me if I wanted some water.

As no one seemed prepared to assist, I devised a self inflicted “Heimlich Maneuver” which involved coughing what little air was left in my lungs and smashing my fist into my chest. On my second try the burger bit dislodged and flew out of my mouth, and more importantly my throat. All I could think was good thing the waitress brought a fresh glass of water. Nearly croaking makes me thirsty.