What I’m Blogging

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

Theodore RooseveltCitizenship in a Republic,Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Procrastination n 1: the act of procrastinating; putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time 2: slowness as a consequence of not getting around to it. This is were I’m at. This is the neighbourhood where I live at the corner of ShillyShally Ave. and Cunctation St. The cup of my dilatoriness runeth over, slowly, but over nonetheless.

…Memo to me, get on with it….

I can’t seem to get into gear on any new undertakings. I’m trying my best to gear up for NaNoWriMo but I’m bored. The book said this would happen. The book said that It’s the tell tale sign of the “pre-creative urge”. If you ask me it’s just annoying.

I spent the day at home. Sick. Wife is sick too. I had a vast resevoir of time with which to do something. Write an outline. Do some character bios. Think about a plot line. But did I make use of any of that resevoir? Nope. I let the resevoir go to the dogs.

I spent the day fiddling with fiddly bits. Update some HTML here, change a logging parameter on a router there, surf a few blogs here and there. Fiddling. Time burned away, and at the close of the day? Nothing to show.

Memo to me, get on with it.

Here is a little Meme I discovered over on Rachel’s Blog. It’s pretty straight forward, write down your name and what you need. Fifteen entries should be considered a minimum. Let it be a stream of consciousness thing and you may find something of value in it.

What do you need?

Ric needs time to reflect.
Ric needs really spicy Thai food.
Ric needs 100 acres and a cabin in the woods.
Ric needs a good thesaurus.
Ric needs a stiff drink.
Ric needs to know why.
Ric needs to keep his own counsel.
Ric needs to call his friends.
Ric needs to call his Mom.
Ric needs it to be June 1^st 2008.
Ric needs a plan.
Ric needs help planning.
Ric needs a shave and a haircut
Ric needs a muse.
Ric needs to be free.

Since 1994 I have worked for the following companies; Incredibly Large Computers, Little ISP That Couldn’t, Telco of the North, Little ISP That Couldn’t (again), Canadian Death Star, Running Telco, Inner Bigness ISP, Greed by Email, WeSayNoCo, International Greed Enablement Corp, and finally Gigantic Concrete. Yesterday, while on the road to Damascus, I fell off my horse. It finally clicked that these places are all the same place. Only the name plate changes.

…we have irreconcilable differences…

It is as if I was continuously dating the same personality type over and over again, and each time the relationship turns abusive. All of these companies are in some way toxic to the soul. Some in much higher concentrations than others. International Greed Enablement Corp was nearly 99^44/100% pure toxicity. At times I rant and rave that it is the companies themselves that are bad and evil (well some of them are the latter). Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t just me; so many companies, so similar a feeling. Well part of the “Epiphany” is that it isn’t one or the other, it is both of us. We are equally responsible. The toxicity arises from the mixture of the two elements together.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that we are completely incompatible. We have irreconcilable differences. Neither side is willing to change, neither side can change and remain who they are as a being; physical or legally constructed. The only thing to be answered is what to do about it?